Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
