Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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