did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
