strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
