Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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