Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
