do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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