I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
