I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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