I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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