I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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