I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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