She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I believe in your delicious
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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