I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
