i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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