Only a mothe r could love this liver
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize