ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
