The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
