i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
