I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
operation harelip BJ is a go
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
