Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
they're like a gay fantastic four
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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