Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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