You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
