I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize