Buhtt sex?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
