Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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