You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
