none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize