just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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