This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
