I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
