pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
