I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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