she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
