Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
