And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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