I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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