Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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