I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
