i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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