this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
