I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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