At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
