I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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