also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
