Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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