If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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