don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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