i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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