I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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