So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize