Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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