He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
