I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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