omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
