Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
