One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
