so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
