Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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