I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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