the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Randomize
