so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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