My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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